Rainy day, rainy hearts

The heavy clouds brought in the darkness sooner tonight. I rushed home and settled in the kitchen, cooking and going through a pile of borrowed records.

As I went over the ordinary chores mechanically, my mind wandered through bits of speeches, actions, premises, points of view that linger on inside my brain.

I'm accused of being judgmental, opinionated. I may be so, I don't know anymore. I think I want a second opinion...

I'm accused of meddling in other people's business. I may do so, but I have never acted heedlessly. Someone had asked for help.

And I feel I don't get past the trying-to-help level, 'cause the same people who've asked for advice simply won't take any piece of advice - from me or from anyone else - and remain stuck exactly where they were.

We all need to stand up on our feet on our own but at this point I don't know what kind of friend I ought to be: a friendly shoulder simply to cry on or a helping hand to lift them up or push them forward?

I'm afraid that if I need to ask this question then I'm not a good friend.